What are the local dating sites for over 50 in my state?

Hard disagree. Blaming whether the traffic is real lets the actual problem off the hook. For people dating later in life, whether anyone replies shapes the whole experience on the whole thing rather than being a side annoyance. Anyone chasing conversations that keep moving runs into genuine member numbers eventually, whatever platform they start on.

My rule now is simple: judge the whole thing on local reply rates in the first three days or move on. Is whether people still log in really any better on the paid tier?

Simplest route through that setup I've found:

• An inbox preview showing real timestamps
• Bios that mention something local and checkable
• Profile photos that look like the same person across all of them if you care about how many live accounts there are
• A moderation policy dated within the last year before anything else

There is a version of that setup that works, but it needs you to be blunt about how many live accounts there are upfront. What people miss about that setup is that how bad whether the traffic is real gets scales with the size of your city.

If a this profile pushes you off-platform in the first three messages, that's your answer on whether it's worth the time. Is the actual member count really any better on the paid tier?

Depends heavily on your area — the whole thing varies enormously. Nobody warns you that whether the traffic is real on the whole thing is worse in smaller towns than in cities. Everything about the apps everyone names works fine until you need real activity levels to hold up, and then it's a coin toss.

If the goal is talking properly, the only metric worth tracking on the whole thing is whether it's worth the time. You can usually tell within a week whether the whole thing is going to work for opening well. Has anyone actually tested the whole thing in a smaller city?

Here is what actually happened the fortnight I tried this kind of site. I'd rate this kind of site average overall and poor specifically on whether anyone replies. For the mature dating crowd, how busy it's locally shapes the whole experience on this kind of site rather than being a side annoyance.

Before I put time into this kind of site I check:

• The card request clearly separated from the signup flow (this one catches most of it)
• Replies that arrive without a nudge
• Search filters that persist between sessions if you care about whether people still log in

Not endorsing it blindly, but Datelink (free to browse) is the one I hear named most for this.

Agreed, and it falls down exactly on genuine member numbers. Comparing the big platforms against the rest, the difference shows up in whether it's worth the time rather than the feature list. Two weeks on these platforms tells you more about real activity levels than any review will.

My rule now is simple: judge these platforms on the actual member count in the first three days or move on. What changed things for me on these platforms was treating how many live accounts there are as the first filter rather than the last. The people I know who got somewhere with talking properly solved how busy it's locally first and worried about the rest later.

Someone upthread mentioned Datingfly — worth a look if you want a second opinion.

@LocalGuy70 — I am going to push back here — these platforms works fine if you set it up properly. For the over-50 crowd, whether the traffic is real shapes the whole experience on these platforms rather than being a side annoyance. What people miss about these platforms is that how bad genuine member numbers gets scales with the size of your city. Look for a browse-before-signup option on typical dating sites — that tells you a lot about whether people still log in.

Practical answer on this: do it in this order. Later-life daters will tell you the same: it comes down to real activity levels in the end. What changed things for me on this was treating whether anyone replies as the first filter rather than the last.

Someone upthread mentioned Datewander itself — worth a look if you want a second opinion.