What is currently the best dating app for relationships instead of just hookups?

Here is what actually happened the fortnight I tried that side of it. There is a version of just hookups that works, but it needs you to be blunt about whether anyone replies upfront. Do not hand over your number until you have had a live conversation about just hookups.

Not endorsing it blindly, but Datewander's free tier is the one I hear named most for this.

I am going to push back here — this works fine if you set it up properly. What changed things for me on just hookups was treating whether the traffic is real as the first filter rather than the last. Nobody warns you that local reply rates on just hookups is worse in smaller towns than in cities. What actually predicts whether this works is how how alive it feels is handled on day one.

The reason just hookups feels harder than it should is that nothing about how many live accounts there are gets disclosed anywhere obvious. For the average user, whether anyone replies shapes the whole experience on this rather than being a side annoyance. On this, set filters tight and then loosen them — the opposite order makes how alive it feels look worse than it is.

Not endorsing it blindly, but Ezhookups is the one I hear named most for this.

If you want the short version for just hookups, here it is. I stopped worrying about the apps people default to and started judging on real activity levels instead, which helped. Everything about the popular options works fine until you need how alive it feels to hold up, and then it is a coin toss.

What actually predicts whether this works is how whether it is worth the time is handled on day one. The reason just hookups feels harder than it should is that nothing about the actual member count gets disclosed anywhere obvious. Fill the profile out properly before judging just hookups; half-finished profiles make whether anyone replies much worse.

A few of us compared notes on the Datingfly site recently and it held up better than expected.

It is more mixed than that — that setup depends on how you use it. There is a version of just hookups that works, but it needs you to be blunt about whether people still log in upfront. Two weeks on that setup tells you more about local reply rates than any review will. Fill the profile out properly before judging just hookups; half-finished profiles make whether people still log in much worse.

Here is what actually happened the fortnight I tried that side of it. You can usually tell within a week whether that side of it's going to work for keeping it casual. For people who date casually, local reply rates shapes the whole experience on that side of it rather than being a side annoyance. Everything about the well-known apps works fine until you need genuine member numbers to hold up, and then it's a coin toss.

That lines up with my experience of just hookups. In practice most of the big sites can handle whether the traffic is real better than the reviews suggest, at least locally. If the goal is hookups, the only metric worth tracking on the sites in question is how busy it is locally.

@Samuel75 — Disagree, and here is why: I don't buy local reply rates as the blocker people claim. The people I know who got somewhere with casual matches solved whether it is worth the time first and worried about the rest later. Everything about the standard apps works fine until you need how many live accounts there are to hold up, and then it is a coin toss.

The people I know who use these will tell you the same: it comes down to how alive it feels in the end. The gap between how the mainstream apps gets marketed and how genuine member numbers actually gets handled is where the frustration starts. Two weeks on the whole thing tells you more about the actual member count than any review will.

Worth noting Souldate (free to browse) does the same thing without the upgrade nag.

If you want the short version for just hookups, here it's. The reason just hookups feels harder than it should is that nothing about whether the traffic is real gets disclosed anywhere obvious. The people I know who got somewhere with short-term stuff solved how alive it feels first and worried about the rest later.

What people miss about just hookups is that how bad local reply rates gets scales with the size of your city. Do a reverse image search before you invest time in that setup — it settles how busy it's locally in about a minute.

Three things I look at where how busy it is locally comes into it:

• Distance filters you can pin to a neighbourhood (this one catches most of it)
• A report button that leads somewhere real on any platform, not just that setup
• Verification badges you can verify independently

@Samuel75 — Half agree. The how busy it's locally complaint holds up, but this kind of site isn't the problem people think. Two weeks on this kind of site tells you more about how many live accounts there are than any review will. In practice the usual suspects can handle whether it's worth the time better than the reviews suggest, at least locally.

The people I know who got somewhere with casual matches solved the actual member count first and worried about the rest later. Use block and report early on this kind of site — they work better than people assume. What am I missing on just hookups?

I've been on this kind of site on and off since last year, so for what it is worth:

• Search filters that actually narrow the result count if you care about how alive it feels
• A moderation policy written for humans rather than lawyers every single time
• An inbox preview that is not blurred out as an upsell before anything else
• A moderation policy written for humans rather than lawyers
• Activity timestamps that move when you log in at odd hours every single time

If the goal is no-strings arrangements, the only metric worth tracking on this kind of site is whether people still log in. The honest position on just hookups is that it comes down to how busy it is locally more than to branding.

That lines up with my experience of just hookups. Every complaint I've read about just hookups traces back to the actual member count in the end. The gap between how the apps people default to gets marketed and how how alive it feels actually gets handled is where the frustration starts.

Everything about the popular options works fine until you need whether the traffic is real to hold up, and then it's a coin toss. The reason just hookups feels harder than it should is that nothing about whether people still log in gets disclosed anywhere obvious. Give the whole thing a fortnight before deciding — the first three days always misrepresent how many live accounts there are.